Nourish

This week I have made serious inroads toward the person I wish to be and toward the life I want. It has been a week full of acting on 'things' that have previously been put off or put in the too hard corner. Days full of eating whenever I need to but eating balanced, clean, and nutritious foods. Not all the time however, and that's kinda okay with me (another massive leap for me!)

A nourishing week for my body, mind, and my soul.

My all feels so light and well.

Getting it done my friends, or just taking the first steps is hard but nowhere near as difficult as I led myself to believe.

Watch out orderly home and head, here I come!

Heya!

I am in my hotel's business centre with like 3 mins of internet left so need to be quick!
I am off in manhatten on my own today so have lots on my list. I lovelovelove this city, taking a gazzillion pics and just soaking it all up

Top of the rock, satc locations, Brooklyn bridge and hopefully Grand Central today. heaps want to shop along the way also but see how it goes.

This city is crazy and I love it more than anything
Made my first purchaces yesty.

So excited! I may return to Tiffany again before this trip is done! Hot tip - if you are after good service you might be dissapointed here. Unless you see Ben on the 3rd floor - love his work.

Okay, I am meeting up with some other girls in twenty mins and have some serious journaling to catch up on, cant  wait to upload some of my shots from the big camera.

love Xx

WHAT.THE.FLIP?!?!

Hello dear friends!

I have missed this ever so much and have thought of this space often. My struggles are ever present, though I feel I am winning today (yay!)

Much has been happening.

Work, surprise baby showers, more work, seeing family and friends, weekends and mini get aways in Melbourne (oh how I adore that town!)

Possibly my biggest news however is that I won an amazing award. The word amazing doesn't even do it justice. I am still flipping out that it is even happening to me.

I shall explain. Each year my workplace has two product roadshows for the store managers to attend. We get flown to Melbs to their head office and see all the new product that will be coming that season, have meetings etc. At the end of financial year roadshow an annual awards night is held where store managers and team members are recognised for their achievements.
There is also an annual competition held, with different categories you can win in.
The prize is an overseas trip.

I fucking won in my category.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry for cursing, but holy fuck! Is crazy.
I totes deserved it, but thought for sure that I would lose out because stuff like that doesn't happen to me. There I was, all prepared to lose and ready for the disappointment. Such a positive thinker I am haha.

My store won company wide. That's out of like a hundred and something stores. Won't go into specifics (privacy and confidentiality etc) but it was in the area of customer satisfaction. SO proud!

When it was actually announced I was so spun out. Up on the stage I had to ask the girl next to me if I had won, I was still thinking it was some sort of cruel rouse lol.

And then shit got real.

We aren't told where we are going ahead of time. Last year was LA, Disneyland, and Vegas. Year before Hawaii. Not sure, but I think it may of been Thailand before that (before I joined the company)
So yeah, up on the stage we were and they asked the group if we would like to know where we were going.
Um yeah!

Some music started playing, and I was still so spun out that I didn't even comprehend it. Everyone started flipping out so I asked the girl next to me where we were going.
She just looked at me like I was the dumbest person ever haha.

Telling you, shit got wayyyyyy real after that.
A guy came running out dressed as the Statue of Liberty.

Then I flipped out and started crying maybe. All a blur after that haha. I do remember realising that New York, New York was playing and thinking how embarrassing for me not knowing lol.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NEW YORK!!!! New fucking York!!!!!!!!

The one place in the world I want to go to most. Even today, three months later I just sat back and shook my head. WTF

Flights, accommodation, food, drink, tours, and entertainment taken care of. Cray cray right?!?!

I leave in like eight days. Is nuts. So flipping excited.

That's my biggest news I wanted to share. Pretty incredible.

So whats news with y'all?

Tell me some stories.

Talk soon x

P.S

♥♥♥

Back to the beginning...again

There is so much that I desire in this life. For myself, my relationship, for my future child/children.
I know the steps that I need to take to get there.
A loose time frame for what I wish to achieve.

Yet I continue to lose time and go in circles.

My anxiety surrounding this wasting of life is all consuming at times.

And still, I fail to progress in any way. Actually, I have gone backward in some aspects so I guess that is some form of progress lol.

Knowing the issues, knowing how to get there, even knowing where to start is very very different from actually doing.

Being mindful enough to pause, recognise the urges for what they are, to make choices that will be in line with my desires for this life. It seems impossible right now to me, but it is the only way to stop avoiding life.

Sure, I am alive but I have not been living at all.

So today I begin. Right now, this moment. Not tomorrow, or "later". This instant. Again.

As hard as I am on myself, being aware enough to know there is more to life and to not be content with 'good enough' is such a blessing. I am only 26 yet I know people decades older that are so very unhappy and have not lived. Sure I have missed much of my youth due to sickness, and having to re-learn alot of basics in my early twenties, but I still have much ahead of me.

So much living to do!

hurro

Hi all, I have been MIA for a while now (well duh)
The truth is I am finding life a bit overwhelming. My self care routine has gone to shit so therefore I am feeling pretty bad emotionally, physically, and also pretty rockbottom spiritually.
This place is never very far from my thoughts, it is all just too much for me right now though.
 Please do connect with me otherwise -




  Or you can email me - m.everitt @ live.com
Missing you all Xx

Bitterness be gone

In my heart I have so many dreams and desires for my life. They may not seem significant to many, and sometimes I myself don't feel as though they are "enough" I don't have these huge plans for world domination, or fame, or even massive wealth. A house of my own, a bubba on my hip, and the love of my life by my side would mean more than all of the gazillion dollars in the world.

 To be a mamma, to love and to be loved back. To make a difference in my world.

 To break this cycle of hatred, bitterness, and dwelling on the past that is ever present in my family.

 It breaks my heart that they can not see the ramifications of their actions. To walk away from it all, to be unforgiving or unable to see that life is not black and white. Family, in my experience anyhow, can be pretty effing frustrating and hurtful at times. They might behave in hurtful ways, break trust time and time again, manipulate etc etc. But they are your family. Your blood, part of who you are today. The world is full enough hate, I cannot fathom actively clinging to such bitterness, of becoming so twisted.
 I can fully appreciate pulling back and protecting yourself and your loves, for that is what I have done myself. Put myself first and done what is best. It is possible to forgive but not put yourself in a position where you will be hurt again. Just sayin'

 "Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one getting burned" 

- Buddha

 This running away and shutting people out of your life just perpetuates the cycle. Now I know I don't have children yet, but I hope when (and if) I do that I have enough sense to be leading by example. To be forgiving, treating myself and others with respect, to know who I am and have the guts to be that person.
 I know that I missed out on many key life experiences and relationships in my childhood because of bitterness and anger. I would not want any child of mine to have me in the way of knowing their family or of having such relationships (that is within reason of course)
I guess what I am saying - is that I love and miss my sister and hate that I have to miss out on so much because of hate and other peoples actions that have nothing much to do with me. Because I choose to forgive someone does not mean for a second that I condone their actions in the slightest. It simply means that I choose better, that I do not want my life to be the same.

I'm changing the story, starting now.

essence

es·sence

1.the basic, real, and invariable nature of a thing or its significant individual feature or features: Freedom isthe very essence of our democracy.

This week I found myself reflecting on how this space is lacking in my everyday. Due to my being time poor, the 'big events' tend to get covered, and the rest slips by unmentioned. In future I would like to remedy this by including more topics that make up my days, that mesh together and make up my world. All of the beings and events that are the very essence of my days and of me. Would like this part of my world to match up to the rest.
What better starting off point is there then my biggest obsession?

The beautiful Ruby Clare.
 When I say obsessed, it is possibly an understatement. All day long she is in my thoughts, I manage to bring conversation around to her, and as soon as we get home of an evening we seek her out for cuddles.
 Looking back into the archives on here though she had one mention. Craziness. Last time Ruby had a post of her own (here) she had not long come to live with us. At the time Ruby was quite poorly indeed, needing some vet care asap.
The vet nurse lied about the haircut coming good in a timely manner.
Only now, four months later has all her fur started to even out.

 Ruby is the most spoilt cat I have ever encountered. Feed on demand (starting with first feed at 5.50 am when she wakes us) ramps to get onto our bed and the lounge (she has a bit of trouble jumping these days) and her own blankets to snuggle. When I say her own blankets they used to be ours but she has claimed the fluffiest/warmest to nest on.

Ruby Clare's favourite pastimes -

watching the world from the window sill in the bedroom

sleeping and eating

meowing near our heads if we attempt to sleep past eight

being the most gorgeous feline ever 

sleeping

every few weeks she likes to go outside and walk on the grass a little, she then returns back inside and sleeps for several hours to recover

 We adore her and can't imagine what we did with our time before she joined us.
That, and she is now nineteen years old. NINETEEN! That's nuts.
I had no idea cats lived that long, so I googled it. Turns out Rubes is 93-ish in cat years (whoa) and the oldest a cat lived to on record is thirty something. I can't even imagine.
She is fairly frail already, so I am just stoked on every day we get of her. Would love to see her make twenty.

xo