True story.
All day long I have been having little 'I think I can moments' and have started to get up and move about. Move about and try to make the most of the day, to start over again, to fix me up.
But then it has been getting hard/scary/overwhelming, so I stop and try to hide.
I've just described life for many people on this earth I am sure.
Doesn't mean that it is okay by me to live a half-life that is 'easy'
It is so not okay that it is totally laughable. Except I'm not in a laughing mood.
I am in a shitty life-is-hard-and-scary-and-I-don't-wanna mood. Pretty much chucking a tanty because I do not wish to feel this way but I know it is up to me to change it.
The motivation will arrive once steps are taken toward the goal. Same as the feeling-great part too. Don't have to wait until I achieve my 'want' - the 'getting there' part will feel fantabolous.
It is all just too much. Too bright. Too loud. Too scary. Too heavy. It all feels so huge and heavy.
And yuck.
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