essence

es·sence

1.the basic, real, and invariable nature of a thing or its significant individual feature or features: Freedom isthe very essence of our democracy.

This week I found myself reflecting on how this space is lacking in my everyday. Due to my being time poor, the 'big events' tend to get covered, and the rest slips by unmentioned. In future I would like to remedy this by including more topics that make up my days, that mesh together and make up my world. All of the beings and events that are the very essence of my days and of me. Would like this part of my world to match up to the rest.
What better starting off point is there then my biggest obsession?

The beautiful Ruby Clare.
 When I say obsessed, it is possibly an understatement. All day long she is in my thoughts, I manage to bring conversation around to her, and as soon as we get home of an evening we seek her out for cuddles.
 Looking back into the archives on here though she had one mention. Craziness. Last time Ruby had a post of her own (here) she had not long come to live with us. At the time Ruby was quite poorly indeed, needing some vet care asap.
The vet nurse lied about the haircut coming good in a timely manner.
Only now, four months later has all her fur started to even out.

 Ruby is the most spoilt cat I have ever encountered. Feed on demand (starting with first feed at 5.50 am when she wakes us) ramps to get onto our bed and the lounge (she has a bit of trouble jumping these days) and her own blankets to snuggle. When I say her own blankets they used to be ours but she has claimed the fluffiest/warmest to nest on.

Ruby Clare's favourite pastimes -

watching the world from the window sill in the bedroom

sleeping and eating

meowing near our heads if we attempt to sleep past eight

being the most gorgeous feline ever 

sleeping

every few weeks she likes to go outside and walk on the grass a little, she then returns back inside and sleeps for several hours to recover

 We adore her and can't imagine what we did with our time before she joined us.
That, and she is now nineteen years old. NINETEEN! That's nuts.
I had no idea cats lived that long, so I googled it. Turns out Rubes is 93-ish in cat years (whoa) and the oldest a cat lived to on record is thirty something. I can't even imagine.
She is fairly frail already, so I am just stoked on every day we get of her. Would love to see her make twenty.

xo

a quick hello

Hi there!
The wedding was yesterday. It was seriously amazing. Every aspect was beautiful - the weather, theme, and most importantly the bride!

Linz was stunning.

That all being said I am tired as/hungover and want to do a mega big post on wedding week. So check back for that over the next week, hope this finds you all well.

Thanks for dropping by!

my bouquet from yesterday - amazingly beautiful ♥

old beginings

I want to blog more

to have a clean home

to lose that last bit of weight

to be a nicer girlfriend

to be kinder to my body and myself

to live an authentic existence

to no longer merely want to be all these things, but to be living a life that strives toward being the best me. to make continued and somewhat consistent efforts toward this

no longer do I wish to live life according to the urges I feel - no longer grab every single time for the quickest fix

to sit with these urges and impulses screaming at me means they will fade away. afterwards I will be stronger.

afterwards it will all be okay. it is just a matter of getting to the after

now is not the part where I will vow that 2012 will be the year, that it will all change because it is the new year. I am still the same me I was at the very start of 2011, wanting much the same as now. longing to be living life the way my heart desires.

that's the good thing about life, so many chances to give it another go.

and so today, the 3rd Jan 2012, I am giving it another go.

one urge at a time. one teeny tiny step at a time. perhaps even a whole day at a time.

I will leave you here with images of my right now, the home that is making my heart practically burst with happiness.

 I hope that you all join me in these moments of my trying to live life as me. attempting change. giving an authentic life a really good go.

much love

It is MORE than time

This has been popping up on my news feed on fb the past week or so, everytime I watch it I tear up. So beautiful and is an issue very close to my heart.

I just can not understand why a person would be discriminatory toward another human for any reason.

Please share ♥

big news and my life of late...

As before mentioned (or vaguely hinted at lol) in this this post I've some big news...

I've been promoted at work! YAY! I really really wanted the role, like in a all consuming/ridiculous way. My manager left (such a sweetheart whom taught me alot) and I went for it.

And got it.
Craziness. Haha, not really crazy. But surreal in a huge way. Soooooooooo happy! 

Totes deserve it. Typing that is a bit  difficult (as in super hard to admit to the world) but I do.  Lots of hours and hard work went into getting here and to reap the benefits now is just lovely.

I officially started a few weeks ago, but was care taking my store for five weeks before that whilst my manager was at another local store (that manager was on a super massive holiday, which I was super envious of but she totes deserved it)

Must be doing something right eh?

the lovely card my parents sent me :)

In case you've all been missing me, that is where I have been. Working. With an awesome team. Seriously loving the women I have on board, they are such a support to me. Yup, all women. Pretty sure that is standard in the retail sector but. My area manager is the best too. Funny as, and has heaps of experience to share.

Just loving life in general. 

Neglecting my blogging and projects but I imagine that I will get to those someday. Not someday soon.

So, to sum up...

- I've my dream job

-Himself is lovely as ever and supportive, and possibly a bit over having a tired girlfriend. Whoops :S

-My weight loss program is on hold whilst I adjust to getting paid fortnightly rather than weekly, but am missing my delivered meals. Am planning to take it back up asap as I'm just 5kilos away from goal!

-Off this weekend, and am headed off to visit with himself's family

-It is a quarter to two in the A.M. and I need to sleep a bit, but missed y'all and my blog too much to be going to bed at a semi-normal hour

-Yay for life/love/stuff ♥

Kid, you’ll move mountains!

"...and grind on for miles across weirdish wild space, headed, I fear, toward a most useless place.

The Waiting Place…for people just waiting.

Waiting for a train to go or a bus to come, or a plane to go or the mail to come, or the rain to go or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow or waiting around for a Yes or No or waiting for their hair to grow. Everyone is just waiting.

Waiting for the fish to bite or waiting for wind to fly a kite or waiting around for Friday night or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake or a pot to boil, or a Better Break or a string of pearls, or a pair of pants or a wig with curls, or Another Chance. Everyone is just waiting..."

Theodor Seuss Geisel

It has been a huge week. Many many things of happened. Some of which I have mentioned here and some happenings that I can't/wont go into on here. Those are mostly 'maybe' happenings anyways, happenings that I have been wanting for quite some time that might just come to be. Soso stoked.
Of late I have been feeling a bit stuck in place. Working toward particular goals, waiting for other parts of my life to come to be in the "right" moment, not really being able to do anything much. This stuck place is not very kind to me as I am very solution orientated.

pause.breathe.repeat

today...

I slept in until 10.20am and woke up feeling the best I have in months.

We went to 'his' mum's place for mother's day lunch.

I found myself wondering what my future mother's days might look like (when I am one!) and got all excited thinking about burnt, cold toast in bed and misspelt cards that I'm sure were the most beautiful creations in the world to my mum (except for me and my siblings of course haha)

We went for a look at our favourite second hand bookshop for treasure.

None today, but that is half the fun of really - the thrill of the chase.